The Christ Thing

There is this very peculiar thing going on right now on planet Earth. It's called christmas. The largest religion on this planet is called Christianity. Christians follow this God, called Jesus - actually they believe this Jesus guy is the son of God. Apparently this guy lived about two thousand years ago in a country called Palestine and he performed some really weird miracles. The miracles already started when he was conceived and born. A pregnancy of an average Earthling lasts about nine months. His mother conceived him in the beginning of December and only about three weeks later he was born. And the leaders of the Christian church claim that she conceived him without having sex ("sex" is the Earthling's activity to make offspring and to have good fun). This is outrageous, since Earthlings have told me that having sex is a lot of fun, it's almost unbelievable that she didn't want to do that. And there is another miracle: on most pictures this Jesus guy has long blond hair. I met a lot of Earth people from the area where Jesus was born. They are called the Palestinians. They are very fun people to hang around with since they love to get wasted on booze and hashish, but none of them is blond. I never met a Palestinian who looked like Jesus. So this whole Jesus story might be totally fake. Anyway, his birth is still a big celebration here on Earth. People give each other gifts, which they don't really want. So today, a couple of days after Christmas, a lot of Earthlings run to the stores to exchange their gifts. You can get things really cheap now. I like Christmas.