War Sucks...

I was talking about that Jewish Palestinian guy who was born a couple of thousand years ago in my last post. Even though his story is probably totally fake, there are some nice things about him. E.g. he keeps going on about love. 'Love Thy neighbour' is one of the things he said. When I look at the situation on that fucked-up planet of yours, I have to say: 'Thou shall love each other a little bit more...! Or else you will go down before we will bring you down...!' Yes. Those mad wars you have going on in the so called Middle East, in the South and the Far East are pure stupidity. I'm sorry to say that. But if you keep going on like that there will be nothing left to save, when your planet blows up.

The Christ Thing

There is this very peculiar thing going on right now on planet Earth. It's called christmas. The largest religion on this planet is called Christianity. Christians follow this God, called Jesus - actually they believe this Jesus guy is the son of God. Apparently this guy lived about two thousand years ago in a country called Palestine and he performed some really weird miracles. The miracles already started when he was conceived and born. A pregnancy of an average Earthling lasts about nine months. His mother conceived him in the beginning of December and only about three weeks later he was born. And the leaders of the Christian church claim that she conceived him without having sex ("sex" is the Earthling's activity to make offspring and to have good fun). This is outrageous, since Earthlings have told me that having sex is a lot of fun, it's almost unbelievable that she didn't want to do that. And there is another miracle: on most pictures this Jesus guy has long blond hair. I met a lot of Earth people from the area where Jesus was born. They are called the Palestinians. They are very fun people to hang around with since they love to get wasted on booze and hashish, but none of them is blond. I never met a Palestinian who looked like Jesus. So this whole Jesus story might be totally fake. Anyway, his birth is still a big celebration here on Earth. People give each other gifts, which they don't really want. So today, a couple of days after Christmas, a lot of Earthlings run to the stores to exchange their gifts. You can get things really cheap now. I like Christmas.

IN EXACTLY FOUR YEARS FROM NOW WE WILL LEAVE

On December 21, 2012, Earth will be erased from this galaxy. It's sad, but we can't do anything about it. It's been decided a long time ago by a bunch of space traffic planners who want to use the space to create a new wormhole. Apparently the location of Earth is a perfect spot to connect the Solar System qT334 (also know as the solar system around Earth) with the P2##&8 nebula, which is an area with a lot of ressources. Actually me and my buddies from the Blues Horror Brigade will try to save a few asses of earthlings as well as a couple of species we really like, e.g. the duck-billed platypus, the common hamster and the giant octopus. So get in touch with me if you're interested in getting a ticket for the ride.

AN ALIEN ON PLANET EARTH

One year ago my crew (the fabulous space rock band Blues Horror Brigade) and me landed on planet Earth. We spent a year travelling around that weird planet. Now the time has come to write about my observations, adventures and feelings concerning the visit on planet Earth.